An extremely reliable inside source whose title most likely rhymes with Druno Jars Vanager tells AP (via USA Today) that the world’s greatest Michael Jackson (Jackson 5 era) impersonator Bruno Mars will headline the Super Bowl Halftime Show in February. Whoever is in charge of announcing the Super Bowl Halftime perform will supposedly announce it tomorrow.
I actually like Bruno Mars, but NO to him being the headliner of Halftime Show at the Super Bowl in New Jersey. The Super Bowl’s in New Jersey next year, so shouldn’t the Halftime Show be a Bruce Springsteen and Bon Jovi spectacular extravaganza that ends with the entire Jersey Shore cast getting shoved into canons and shot into the universe? BRUNO MARS?
If the Halftime Show people really wanted to entertain the masses with Jersey flavor, they would’ve given the headlining spot to the tie dyed musical prophets of Jersey City P.M. Dawn.
But if that happened, P.M. Dawn would cause a blackout that would make Beyonce’s Super Bowl blackout look like one tiny lightbulb went out. Every single person in the country would turn every TV on in their house to watch P.M. Dawn and it would cause a national electrical blackout.
But whatever, the only thing I want to know is if Lil Bub and Grumpy Cat are going to co-headline the Kitty Halftime Show at the Puppy Bowl next year. That’s what I really want to know.