In Ibiza today, Beyonce carried our messiah Blue Ivy Carter (who’s looking more and more like a miniature Jay-Z) up a ramp while wearing a pair of black stilts and coochie cutters. Don’t worry, if Beyonce’s ridiculous ass slipped and she fell, her magical golden weave would transform into angels wings and fly her to safety. You can’t tell from these pictures, but in the water below, there’s a pod of dolphins holding a swan feather mattress with their mouths just in case Blue Ivy Carter or her royal highness Beyonce fell overboard.
I’m sure Beyonce’s heels scratched up the floor of that yacht. And I’m even more sure that the yacht’s owner isn’t going to fix the floor, because he knows the Bumblebeys will pay him to lick the scratches that Bey made.