Cher Wants You To Know That She Doesn’t Need A Ton Of Photoshop, Thankyouverymuch

September 1, 2013 / Posted by:

 

When Cher tweeted the cover of her new album a few days ago, some hating haters said that this picture was nowhere near close to the truth and said that the fingers of several graphic artists must be wrapped in casts from overworking themselves while Photoshopping this golden mess. I didn’t know what they were talking about, because Cher doesn’t need Photoshop since she always looks like every Photoshop tool was used on her. Covering her entire body in wax and getting a face lift a day does that to a person. Sure, the photographer smeared five jars of Vaseline on the lens and all the contrast was used on this picture, but underneath all of that it looks like Cher (with a drop of Courtney Stodden and a sporkful of Xtina)  to me.

Cher responded to the Photoshop criers by tweeting the “raw” image:

cherclosertothetruth2

See, you bitches can shut it! Cher’s arm and titty skin isn’t that smooth from Photoshop. It’s smooth because she gets a full-body Botox transfusion when she awakens in her tomb at sundown. And without Photoshop, Cher’s face still looks like it’s pulled so tight that if she yawns it’ll snap off her head, fly across the room and stick to the wall. Cher doesn’t need Photoshop!

And in related news, Brit Brit’s label announced that the cover of her 2011 album Femme Fatale is going to be replaced, because Cher didn’t do it first, but she did do it better.

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