When God created Adam and Eve, I am one hundred percent sure that God’s first words to them was, “Everything will be okay if you just remember that bangs are a privilege, not a right.”
I once told one of my friends that she would look good with a straight, blunt bang and her response was that she would never, because the only human on this planet who looks good with a straight, blunt bang is Young Waverly in The Joy Luck Club movie. She had a point. But I don’t know, I feel like every chick should get a straight, blunt bang at least once in her life so she can know the answer to the question, “Will I look like I’m wearing a wig from Nicki Minaj’s discount wig collection for Ricky’s if I get straight, blunt bangs?” That’s why I can’t hate Hayden Panatroll for trying it.
Hayden Panacotta showed up to the Late Show with David Letterman yesterday looking like Skipper if Skipper put on Barbie’s clip-on bangs and early 80s hooker boots borrowed from a Thriller extra (Happy Birthday, MJ!) to interview for the position of weekday call girl at a bottom tier escort agency. In other words, I love it!