Your Move, Clooney

August 23, 2013 / Posted by:

Here’s Eva Longoria and her then-piece Ernesto Arguello during happier times last month when they both had a serious case of food poisoning and were rushing off to the nearest toilet to shit and barf their insides out (at least, that’s what I’m getting from this picture). Last month, Eva issued a goddamn statement to People saying that she has taken a seat on the face of Ernesto Arguello, a bachelor from her failed reality show Ready For Love, and that they were a full-time couple. “Sources” even told People that Ernesto and Eva’s hearts are so melded together that they were destined to get married. (When I read that, I made the same “I’m barfing in my mouth” face that Ernesto is making in that picture above.) Well, I guess Eva and Ernesto’s ~love~ was just to powerful and intense for them to handle, because they broke up after only a handful of months. The good news is that their relationship lasted longer than their reality show did.

A source tells E! that Eva and Ernesto couldn’t make it work because of “distance problems.” Eva’s in L.A. and Ernesto’s in Miami, and neither of them gave a damn enough to move.

Right after Eva announced to the world that she was rubbing taints with a piece from her reality show, Lainey had a blind item that was obviously about Eva and George Clooney and then UsWeekly kind of co-signed Lainey’s blind item. Eva and George were supposedly doing it while he was with Stacy Keibler and when he didn’t leave Stacy after Eva kept asking him to, she went public with that Ernesto dude to make him jealous.

And now that Eva is single, she and George can be together! Yeah, I’m sure George will get on that as soon as he finishes up the open casting call to find his next personality-less, half-mute, 30-something award season ho.

Here’s Eva with Eugenio Derbez at the premiere of Instructions Not Included in L.A. last night.

Pics: Wenn.com, Splash

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