Babies suffering from diaper rash cry and whine less than the Difficult Brown does.
Chris Brown has to complete 1,000 more community service hours in Los Angeles County by next August, because the District Attorney found out that he faked a lot of the community service hours he had to complete for pleading guilty to beating RiRi. If any of us regulars got caught faking our community service hours, we’d probably be in jail, trying to figure out how to make Cronuts out of leftover pancakes and Honey Buns. But since the Difficult Brown has a fancy lawyer, he struck a deal with prosecutors and agreed to do the community service hours he never did in the first place and they agreed to not pursue charges against him for faking his hours. Everybody, except the poor soul who has to supervise Fist Brown and humanity, wins! But of course, since the Difficult Brown has to always be difficult, he spit the pacifier out of the throbbing whine hole on his face and cried, cried, cried about how the D.A. is a racist and is out to get him. TMZ says that the D.A. is a black woman, so there’s that. Here’s the latest tweetarrhea stream of woe that Chris Brown shat out:
That’s the kind of rant an 8-year-old Kanye busted out when he got caught cheating on a math test. That’s the kind of rant Paula Deen busted out when the Food Network dropped her. The drama! Chris Brown should probably cut his coke with Xanax from now, because he’s showing all of us that coke rage is real.
The Difficult Brown could learn a thing or two from his fellow criminal Lindsay Lohan. You don’t outright tell the judge to fuck off on Twitter. You do it with style, elegance and grace by writing “FUCK U” on your nail.