If the world is a giant garden, then the UK is officially the section marked “rare and exotic blossoms (that you may or may not get The Clap from)“, because it is the home to Jodie Marsh, Katie Price and Layla Flaherty, and now it is the temporary home of America’s gift to the world Courtney Stodden. Courtney Stodden is in Britain to add some real star power to the cast of Celebrity Big Brother, which started up again last night. It’s nice to know that the Brits feel the same way about the Porn Iguana as us Americans do. The lady in the front row to the left is choking on Courtney’s grace and charisma and she has gone temporarily cross-eyed from being that close to such a natural beauty. And the dudes to the left are burning holes through Courtney’s 10 layers of butt padding. Natural reactions, all around.
Also in the CBB house are sequined flamingo Louie Spence, proud slut Mario Falcone from TOWIE, Charlotte Crosby from Geordie Shore, Sophie Anderton, a bunch of others and Screech. Everybody should put all their money on Screech winning this shit. Screech isn’t going to win because the public is going to vote for him. He’s going to win by default, because half of the house is going to be so annoyed by him that they’re going to throw themselves through the front door and quit. The other half is going to heave themselves into a coma when he tells them about his love of the Dirty Sanchez.