Hot Slut Of The Day!

Fruit Brute!

Every Halloween, General Mills sells Count Chocula, Boo Berry and Franken Berry (Side note: I’m pretty sure Jamie Oliver’s going to name his next kids Boo Berry and Franken Berry) for a limited-time, because they have a deal with Diabetes drug companies to bring in at least 10,000 new patients a year. The WSJ says that this Halloween is extra extra corn syrupy, because General Mills is also bringing back Yummy Mummy (not this kind of yummy mummy) and Fruit Brute (which kind of sounds like the name of Kanye’s next album) for a couple of months. General Mills first released Fruit Brute in 1973 and discontinued it ten years later. Yummy Mummy came out in 1988 and was sent back to its tomb in 1993.

I’ve heard of Yummy Mummy before, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard of Fruit Brute and that bitch has been in Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs. (So basically, Quentin Tarantino also has a Fruit Brute fetish and this October, he can finally bring his two loves together when he eats Fruit Brute cereal off of a steamy foot.)

Never mind that Tom Cruise’s Scientology nickname is probably Fruit Brute since you know that bossy bottom is the bully of the bathhouse, but Fruit Brute is really hot. Bitch was working the painted pointy nail look long before nail art bloggers and pop stars were and you know Justin Bieber is screaming at his stylist to find him a pair of Fruit Stripe overalls (with brown buttons) right now! Fruit Brute isn’t only a connoisseur of fine cereals, but he’s also a style icon.

Welcome back, Fruit Brute!