While the Internet losers their mind, fights, cries and strangles kittens over Ben Affleck being the new Batman, here’s something tingly to soothe your nerves and to make your b-hole squirt out a drop of liquid sunshine. Richard Simmons’ “Hair Do” song glued itself to the inner parts of my brain when his lyric video came out and now that I’ve seen the full video, it’s cemented itself to the inner parts of my brain. This is like a gay dream on cotton candy-flavored Ecstasy. Seeing Richard Simmons in various kinds of drag next Pandora Boxx, Delta Work and other Drag Race queens has made me pucker from places I didn’t know existed. If I had Jesus’ cell phone number, I’d totally text him the link to this video with the question, “This is what prom in Heaven looks like, right?”
In related news, MTV announced today that Lady CaCa has been pushed to the pre-show in the lobby of the Barclays Center and Richard Simmons will now open the VMAs.