Because RiRi is always trying to make the top of her head look like a cemetery for roadkill, she got a glorious rattail mullet installed and showed it off on Instagram the other day. RiRi is doing it all wrong. You don’t debut your new rattail at McDonald’s. You debut it at a tailgate party before a Monster Truck rally in Daytona Beach, FL.
Rattails remind me of these little ass brat ass brothers at my elementary school who killed frogs with sticks at the creek in the public park, always stole generic brand soda from the second refrigerator in their neighbor’s garage and would make fun of kids while sitting in the back of a pick-up parked on the driveway of their house. No, I didn’t grow up in Florida, but Florida is everywhere. Never trust a ho with a rattail.
I swear, RiRi always has to look like a bootleg Harmony Korine character. Here’s another one of RiRi working that rattail on Instagram and doing stuff in NYC the other day.