Hot Slut Of The Day!

The Don’t Wake Daddy board game from the 90s!

Children and teens of the 90s all developed severe anxiety disorders and got addicted to Valium at a young age and it’s all because of the Don’t Wake Daddy board game. Don’t Wake Daddy (I know, I CAN’T with that name either) came out during the holiday times in 1992 and it was a major hit. I don’t know why. Shit was nerve-wracking. The whole goal was to get to the refrigerator without waking daddy. (There were pot brownies in the fridge, obviously, because every kid needed some after stressing out while trying not to wake daddy.) Players would spin a spinner and if they landed on a noise space, they had to press daddy’s alarm clock a certain number of times. If you pressed the alarm too many times, daddy would spring up and scare your internal organs out of your ass. Then you’d have to go back to the beginning.

Daddy was a mess. He had eyes like STAINS on coke. In the game that I played, daddy didn’t wear a cone condom hat like he is in that picture. Thank the hell for that, because that would’ve made it even more creepy. And I don’t think we were trying to sneak to the refrigerator. We were trying to sneak the hell out of there and run to the nearest bus station, because daddy was a real high-strung asshole.