The entire atmosphere nearly exploded due to massive amounts of awkward tension on Sunday when Jennifer Aniston and St. Angie Jolie ALMOST got on the same exact British Airways flight from LAX to London. The flight attendant who worked First Class on that flight is hating life, because think of all the coins they could’ve made from the blurry cell phone video of St. Angie throwing soul-killing glares at Aniston as Aniston swallows her 12th mini bottle of tequila whole while Googling to see if the hemp tea bags she brought with her are smokeable.
E! News says someone at British Airways told Jennifer Aniston’s people that St. Angie was booked in First Class on the same flight to Heathrow as her. Aniston’s people immediately moved her to a flight on Monday. Yeah, so St. Angie took her man and then took her flight eight years later! Shameless ass hussy whore! E! also says that when Brad and Jennifer were still together, they used to stay at this one fancy hotel in London all the time. Both of them got the hotel in the divorce and Brad still stays there with St. Angie whenever they’re in London as does Jennifer. This time around, both St. Angie and Jennifer chose to stay at a different hotel. So that obviously means they didn’t want to run into each other at the ice machine down the hallway.
Google Images tells me that a First Class seat on British Airways is bigger than a Manhattan studio apartment and more private than most dorm rooms, so I doubt these two would’ve even seen each other. And even if they did, they probably wouldn’t give a shit. But you know, since Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt are slowly morphing into the same physical body and almost look exactly the same, St. Angie wouldn’t have been able to control her urges and she would’ve pounced on Jennifer. Then the two would’ve scissored in the lavatory. That’s all.
Here’s Jen strolling through LAX on Monday. Those rolled pants and sneakers are killing me not-so-softly.