Anna Wintour Will Grow A Human Heart Before She Puts North West On The Cover Of Vogue

August 13, 2013 / Posted by:

While getting their anuses bleached next to each other a few months ago, Kanye West begged the house mother of the Death Eaters, Anna Wintour, to put Kim Kartrashian on the cover of Vogue and she said in so many words that the only way that will happen is if Lucifer rises up to Earth, buys Conde Nast and makes Pimp Mama Kris president (this could happen). So Kanye West is trying something else. Because Botox takes twice as long to settle in a newborn baby’s face, North West hasn’t made her public debut yet and Kanye is hoping she’ll make it on the cover of Vogue. Kanye asked Anna if she’d be into putting Kim, North West and him on the cover of Vogue and she wasn’t amused enough to take her mouth off of the living, breathing baby swan she was feeding on. Some source tells Radar:

“It’s no secret that Kanye is a huge fan of fashion, Vogue and especially Anna Wintour. “But it’s also pretty well-known that Anna is NO fan of Kim or any reality star appearing in the pages of the magazine. Kanye is determined to make sure baby North isn’t photographed by paparazzi then splashed across the world. He knows what he wants — a professional photographer and the cover of Vogue – nothing else. But clearly, trying to persuade Anna is going to be an uphill battle.”

When Kanye’s overinflated, pus-filled ego gets a dent in it, he goes even harder and so he’s gathering a bunch of statistics together to show Anna that putting Kim on the cover sells magazines. In his presentation to Anna, Kanye should also make sure he lets her know that Kim’s magazine covers were mostly bought by the owners of constipated birds who used it as cage lining so their pets would really be inspired to shit and piss.

I doubt North West is going to make her debut on the cover of Vogue and I doubt her first portrait is going to replace the Mona Lisa at the Louvre (that’s Kanye’s first plan). I bet that the paparazzo who fucked with Kanye will get the first picture and he’ll make a bunch of money off of it. That’ll make Kanye the speechless one for once.

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