Somebody Married K-Fed’s Ass In Las Vegas Yesterday

August 11, 2013 / Posted by:

I guess K-Fed’s spousal support from Brit Brit officially ended, because he got married to the mother of his 2-year-old daughter. In what I’m sure was a gorgeous, elegant and classy wedding, K-Fed made his girlfriend of 5 years Victoria Prince his second wife at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas yesterday. I really hope they married in front of Brit Brit’s “…Baby One More Time” schoolgirl costume since  her money obviously paid for this shit.

A source tells UsWeekly that the white Grimace surprised Victoria by proposing to her in Vegas on Friday. They got a marriage license that day. UsWeekly’s source didn’t say this, but I’m assuming that K-Fed wore a sophisticated Fruit of the Loom tuxedo t-shirt dress (in size: Xinfinity-L), tuxedo sweat culottes and patent leather velcro sandals. While a harpist softly played the matrimonial remix of Popozao, K-Fed’s guests almost fell back while watching his succulent groom tits heave up and down as he said his vows to Victoria and yes, these were his vows:

I can bust you out with my super sperm!”
I go do it, I go do it, I go do it, do it, do it.
An’ I’m here an’ I’m there, I’m Big Ban Hank, I’m everywhere
Just throw your hands up in the air
And party hardy like you just don’t care

The source also said this:

“Kevin told her he was going to Vegas for a job, but he surprised her by proposing and [then planned on] marrying her while they are there. Victoria really wanted this for a long time so she’s gotta be blown away. She’s proven herself with him from day one. It’s about time Kevin got over Britney and went on with life. Victoria is an awesome girl.”

Oh yeah, some surprise. When K-Fed tells you that he’s going to Las Vegas for a job, you know something is up. Victoria Prince probably bawled through his proposal and not because she was so happy about becoming the next Mrs. K-Fed, but because she realized that he wasn’t there for an actual job.

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