My soul (and other parts) melted into a puddle of sadness yesterday when Starz announced that they were pulling the curtain over the hot half-naked bodies on Magic City, but nothing can bring me back up like the sight of the ageless Spanish dandelion royale, the Duchess of Alba, cleansing the sea in Ibiza with her beauty.
With the help of her two ladies-in-waiting (the Karen and Gretchen to her Regina George), the head of the House of Alba (don’t even bring MiserAlba into this) worked two piece after two piece during a girls-only vacation in Ibiza, Spain over the weekend. When Duchess Kate’s basic ass wears something out in public, it sells out in a quick second. When Spain’s most treasured Slytherin pearl wears something out in public, it doesn’t sell out, because it’s not available to the regulars since it is one of a kind. Those pink glasses were custom-made from the finest vintage plastic from the 80s. That’s how a true lady of the crown does it.
And you might’ve seen this on CNN, but the sea off of Ibiza is almost dry now. Because as soon as the Duchess of Alba took a dip in it, everyone started drinking that sea water to get her sparkling essence inside of them. The Duchess of Alba can turn an entire ocean into a fountain of beauty just by dipping the tip of her toe in it.