Terrence and his on-and-off-again wife Michelle Howard are once again brawling like it’s 2011. Two years ago, Terrence and Michelle were in the middle of a messy divorce battle and threw all kinds of accusations at each other. Michelle said that Terrence turned into a baby wipes-loving Ike Turner a week into their marriage and regularly whooped her ass and once chipped her toof and threatened to kill her in a parking lot. Terrence said that he’s as pleasant as the scent he inhales from a freshly wiped anus and that Michelle was just spitting out lies to get more money out of him. They continued to fight like that for a while before deciding to get back together. In a development that is surprising to absolutely no one, Terrence and Michelle are fighting again.
TMZ says that during a family trip to Costa Rica last week, Terrence and Michelle got into an argument that turned into a scene straight out of The Burning Bed. Michelle claims that Terrence beat her up. Terrence claims that Michelle maced his adult daughter and another one of his family members. Terrence denies beating Michelle up and Michelle denies macing anyone. The police showed up, but nobody was arrested. Michelle is planning to get a restraining order against Terrence.
Here we go again…
Michelle Howard needs to take a sloppy shit, use a piece of Charmin to wipe her ass and throw it at Terrence Howard’s face before sashaying out of his life forever. Then Jesus needs to show us he’s real by dropping the largest baby wipe ever on Terrence Howard.
And if you’re like me, then every time you read a story involving mace, you have to go and watch that legendary video of a not-the-one trans beauty macing a shitty mom and her trash-talking kid. If we ever hang out together and I start laughing for no reason, just know that it’s probably because I’m thinking of a subway warrior in a sparkly pink dressing saying, “It’s my birthday, don’t fuck with me,” after macing up that entire car.