Last month, the Saint Joseph to Blue Ivy Carter’s Jesus tried to take Kanye’s place as the High Priestess of Hip Hop HIGH Art when he performed at a gallery in NYC with a bunch of actors, artists and fancy people type for 6 hours. Jay Z’s entire performance (f)art piece was shot by director Mark Rominek and turned into a music video for “Picasso Baby,” which premiered on HBO last night.
If you’ve got ten minutes of eye rolling in you, watch Jay Z talk about art before watching all those people (including Michael K. Williams, Taraji P. Henson, Jim Jarmusch, Adam from Girls, Jessa from Girls, Marina Abramovic, Rosie Perez and Fab Five Freddy) take turns performing for him or watching him perform. It’s like a bizarre show & tell/talent show where there’s no winners. Afterward, Guinness World Records awarded Jay Z for hosting the longest ego stroke in history. But seriously, while watching this, I kept noticing that nobody had a clear plastic cup full of something mind-numbing in their hands. Where was the open bar? They stood there watching Jay Z and others perform for hours under bright ass lights and they did it while sober. That’s harder than any endurance challenge on Survivor.
Okay, okay, I did turn my permanent glum cunt frown into a smile when the Marilyn Monroe-like memaw in the clear glasses messed Jay Z up by just sitting down.
Meanwhile, across town, Kanye West was sitting on a metal folding chair in the middle of a darkened gallery wondering why nobody showed up to his performance art party….