Birthday Sluts

August 3, 2013 / Posted by:

Martha Stewart (72)
Karlie Kloss (21)
Jourdan Dunn (23)
Charlotte Casiraghi (27)
Ryan Lochte (29)
Mamie Gummer (30)
Hannah Simone (33)
Evangeline Lilly (34)
Tom Brady (36)
Michael Ealy (40)
Spinderella (43)
James Hetfield (50)
Isaiah Washington (50)
Lisa Ann Walter (52)
John C. McGinley (54)
Jay North (62)
John Landis (63)
Martin Sheen (73)
Tony Bennett (87)

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

103 responses to “Birthday Sluts”

  1. bigorexia says:

    Martha Stewart was a porn star in the 1920s?

  2. SANS_FARDS says:

    HB Ryan Lochte! As a former competitive swimmer, I have a serious soft spot for the guy….he’s a lovable doofus. And super fast, too. He cleaned up pretty nicely at this year’s World Championships in Barcelona.

    HB funnyman John McGinley. He was hilarious on Scrubs, and proved his serious acting chops in Platoon and Wall Street. He’s also a vocal advocate for kids with special needs; he has a son with Down syndrome. All around great guy!

  3. ditquoi says:

    Happy birthday Paquita!

    Yay for everyone else

  4. Mike Farrell says:

    Tom Brady has quite a year comin’ up. I’d guess that, despite everything that’s happened–and despite Giselle, their hotel of a home, his love of water slides–he and Belichick still do very well. I know they’re hated, but people always hate the highly successful.

    • Rockwell says:

      People hate Belichick because he’s a fucking prick asshole!

      • NDNchief says:

        People hate Belicheat because he’s a fucking prick asshole!

        Fixed it for you.

      • Mike Farrell says:

        I get that. He’s a win-at-any-cost coach and human being. But so are the Harbaughs, Pete Carroll, Sean Payton, etc. I don’t care if he’s an asshole; he’s not paid to be nice. And the only cheating I know of is videoing the other sideline–something that teams try in all sports. That was like 6 years ago–the same year he went 16-0 after he was caught videoing.

        Not trying to defend him and I’m not even a Pats fan. I just admire what he and Brady have done so well for so long.

        • shawnthesheep says:

          And they still have not won the SB since the videotaping scandal broke. Even the year they went 16-0 they lost in the SB.

    • ReverseAlbino says:

      People hate Belichick because they will never reach his level of coolness.

  5. briansbottom says:

    HB, Martha! Wow, she looked like Grace Kelly back in the day.

  6. J.R. says:

    Martha looked like that?? Jailbird and Pin-Up, I like!

    Happy burrrfday Locthe & to you M. Ealy you stud!!

  7. BangoSkank says:

    Karlie Kloss, Hannah Simone, and Evangaline Lilly…. There’s a lot of hubba-hubba on that list.

  8. Event HORizon says:

    Yeah YeaHeeeeeah!

    HB Hetfield!

  9. NDNchief says:

    Happy Birthday to Tony Bennett ! ! !
    Tom Brady can eat a dick.

  10. Lady Mary Crawley says:

    Martha’s looked “about forty” for thirty years, which is a very specific kind of magic, isn’t it?
    Happy birthday to Miss Martha and her empire of loveliness!

  11. Ecce Homo says:

    Happy birthday everyone on the list, but most of all James Hetfield!
    A correspondent from MTV gave me backstage passes to a Metallica concert once, and my boss wouldn’t give me the night off. Grrrr, still pissed about that! He is the sex!

    • SANS_FARDS says:


    • NolanStylinson says:


    • Event HORizon says:

      There’s no way….I’m speechless!! I would have called in and said I have rabbies, my entire family died….I would have said anything for backstage passes to Metallica. And if they still wouldn’t let me go after that, even if I had a million dollar salary….I would be out of a job for an opportunity like that!

    • Haribo says:

      Sorry to hear that πŸ™ Just look at the bright side πŸ˜€ I mean, you will most probably get to see his ass in concert since he’s alive and doing fine. I was 12 when MJ came to my country and couldn’t go. Now he’s dead ;(((

      P.S Just the other night I heard one of Metallica’s songs on the radio and I really liked it. Too bad I don’t know the title. I did some research based on the words in the song and google said it’s The unforgiven but it was not. :/

    • Elmo533 says:

      I woulda quit. No question.

    • Uptown James says:

      Yo Homie—-that’s a tuff situation. I might have called in a bomb threat but they woulda known it was me and just said somefin like, “Nice try, James….. there’s a pile of stuff waiting for your attention. See you at 5.”

      And I agree wif you—-the guy is a hottie.

  12. H321 says:

    Happy Birthday to Martha! Jusr DVR’d a recipe for eclair and cream puff pastry last week. Jordan Dunn for being that other domestic goddess on this list, her cooking show on youtube is hilarious and cute. Martin Sheen, seeem like he’d be the best pepaw, at least on film. Evangeline Lilly, always liked her even though her name sounds like a feminin hygien product.

  13. NolanStylinson says:

    Kinda bored with these sluts. Happy Birthday to Lochte, Evangeline Lilly, James Hetfield and all the other sluts today!

  14. Uptown James says:

    Feliz CumpleaΓ±os to convicted felon, Martha Kostyra S; and also to Jay North, Tony Bennett, and Tom Brady.

    But what would Ryan Lochte do on his birfday? Act dumb, I suppose.

    • saltydog says:

      damn you Uptown, I wanted to be the first to wish the felon happy birthday hehehe

      • Uptown James says:

        Yo Salty—-since I didn’t really use her name that most people know her by—I prefer M Kostyra— you could still do it. You know us dumb HOs on this site wouldn’t know the difference…..LOL….

  15. louise_brooks says:

    Happy birthday, Spinderella!

  16. Bigbendy says:

    Happy Birthday Martha. She is a bitch and she owns it. It’s a good thing.

  17. Richbitch says:

    Note to self: After a long day at work, I *don’t* want to see that!

  18. Kiwi_Chicklet says:

    OMG, it’s Kelly McGillis from Topgun in old timey bathers. If I ever met Martha, I’d be terrified. HB birthday everyone who’s celebrating today, especially John C McGinley – loved him in Scrubs.

    • Ultimatekpopfan says:

      haha, why would u be terrified?

      • Kiwi_Chicklet says:

        Probably intimidated is a better word. She just seems so accomplished and such a honey badger, I admire what she’s done, jail aside, but wouldn’t want to work for her, I think she’d ride you ragged.

  19. Ultimatekpopfan says:

    Martha is 72?!!!!!! I always thought she was in her mid 50’s. She looks so good.

    Wow, she was a knockout when she was young. Beautiful bone structure.

  20. Hekki says:

    Happy Birfday to Marfa. She’s my role model. Stealth slut!!!

  21. princesspoppy says:

    where does MK find these pics?

  22. salacious says:

    Elizabeth Banks could play Martha in a biopic. HB to all sluts, save for the “Jeah!” douchebag.

  23. Whamo says:

    Well, well. Martha was certainly quite the hot piece of ass back in the day wasn’t she!

    • WithinReason... says:

      Lol, she was! Happy long weekend Whamo, whoo-hooo!

      • Whamo says:

        I was trying respond to you but my initial comment seems to have gotten hung up. Happy long weekend to you as well Reason πŸ™‚

        • WithinReason... says:

          Omg, I was on my phone earlier, jeebus. It kept going to the up arrow, then the down arrow, the reply box wouldn’t appear, lol. It took several tries. πŸ˜›

          • Whamo says:

            Ya, a on the phone a lot of functions in general either don’t works or will freeze the site if you try to use them, it’s a bummer.

  24. WithinReason... says:

    HB Evangeline, Isaiah (swoons) and all the other birthday sluts today! Happy Saturday!

  25. Whamo says:

    I’ve never thought him much of an actor but Martin Sheen was awesome in Apocolypse Now, actually everyone was awesome in that classic.

    • Esteem says:

      He was pretty good in Badlands too.

      • Whamo says:

        Hey there Esteem what’s shakin, long time no talk. I hope you’re doing well πŸ™‚
        I never saw Badlands was it a movie or TV show?

        • Esteem says:

          Hey Whams. Doing good thanks, hope you are too. I know it’s hard for you on your BB, so I haven’t tried to talk to you and make you crash your phone. πŸ˜‰

          Badlands was a movie from 1973:

          • Whamo says:

            It’s ok Esteem, while it’s slow as shit I have figured on how to get it to crash less than before anyway. Talk away, I just can’t have fast multiple conversations like we use to which sucks but I hope to be getting a new phone. I miss the old platform, it was just less complicated and you could easily talk to everyone.

          • Esteem says:

            I’m hoping it’s not getting worse, but, now on my PC the ‘load more comments’ is taking longer and longer to load. At first it was lightening fast, but it’s lagging big time now. I didn’t even try on my phone or ipad, usually use my laptop, which is always with me, but…it’s lagging on my desktop, which is a fairly decent computer.

          • Uptown James says:

            Hey Whams and Esteem—- I was thinking it was some kinda mess wif my iPad. I had it in Vancouver wif me last week. It was like I was using papyrus and a stylus to write to anyone on DListed……

          • Esteem says:

            Yeah James. A bunch use an ipad, Owlie and Pushy are two, right off the top of my head. I think they said to use the regular version of the D on there, not the mobile one. I’m an impatient person, so I use my laptop most of the time, so everything’s faster.

            ETA: that and, my work software is on the laptop. πŸ˜‰

          • Uptown James says:

            Cool—thx Esteem. Glad to be off the papyrus and stylus and back to the desk at home with the iMac which is pretty good. That iPad just seems more like a toy than anything, but maybe I just dont adapt well to it. I cant imagine actually trying to do work with it. It just seems like it’s made more for checking web sites, looking at some porn, maybe some news……LOL…. do some email, then go outside and bike or hike. Come back and make some dinner reservations with the thing.

          • Esteem says:

            Haha, yeah. I’m one of those people that use it to play games and (ssh) take pictures, and just read. Can’t really load big and or slow stuff on mine.

          • WithinReason... says:

            Wow, you’re really making full use of it, ha. I will say, I took all my notes for class on my ipad with a wireless keyboard and it was excellent. Very light. Otherwise, it’s mostly to view websites. I wouldn’t use it for work either unless it’s for a meeting. Laptops are out for that these days. ;p

          • Uptown James says:

            it’s embarrassing tho when other people try to look at it and there are smears of jizz on the screen…..LOL!

          • WithinReason... says:

            Bwaahahahaha! The same happens to me, oddly enough — except it’s sunblock. πŸ˜›

          • WithinReason... says:

            I just noticed that Esteem. It is taking longer. It’s not your computer I think it may be Disqus. But it loads. I did see a new look for the ipad at: It’s not bad, it lets you scroll/slide through stories quickly. Or if you want to default to the desktop site you can do that too. It doesn’t give you the choice for that on a phone or pc.

          • Esteem says:

            Oh good Withy, glad to have confirmation that’s it’s not just me. It takes so long sometimes I get that stupid popup asking me if I want to kill the pages or wait. ;-(

            Thanks for the ipad info, I’ll load that tomorrow and see what it looks like.

            I went back earlier to the first OP after the change-over to see if I could find Turtle, she wasn’t in that one. ;-(

          • WithinReason... says:

            Hey there! I’m trying to remember when I saw her. That’s my one gripe, finding anyone or scrolling back is next to impossible. I often get lost because I think I’m replying to something and it’s from hours ago. Other times the replies don’t display.

            If you’re getting the kill page, could it be crashing the browser? I haven’t seen that yet but I might have closed and reopened it without thinking though.

            Hope you’re having a good evening. Seems quiet at the mo. Then again, peeps could be chatting away in some thread I can’t display yet or buried deep within OP, LOL! ;p

          • Esteem says:

            Haha, no it’s quiet tonight. I think the lack of OP maybe. I can’t remember what her latest name looked like or I’d do a google search. That’s what I had to do to get back to that OP, lmao. Anyho, I’m off the watch a movie. Have a great night. Catch ya later! πŸ˜‰

          • WithinReason... says:

            Ah, just saw the kill page or wait message! Smdh. Catch ya later!

  26. mizcynical says:

    Aww. I’m making a Martha Stewart recipe today! Happy bday to her!

  27. Elmo533 says:

    That’s Martha?!?! Get it girl!

  28. Bee_She_Won says:

    Dang, James Hetfield is 50?!
    Happy BDay to James and all the other BDay peeps!

  29. deathtoprom says:

    Dang! I’ve never seen this photo of Martha. Lookin’ good!

  30. Zorba says:

    Martha was really beautiful in her youth, but even in her old modeling photos you can see that cool, stony look in her eyes. Which to me is preferable to today’s models, who have that “Can I haz heroin?” look in their eyes.

  31. Dan Samels says:

    HB John Landis. I loved “The Stupids”

  32. chaka1 says:

    Meeeow! Martha!!!

  33. WintahOwl says:

    Martha Stewart was real purrty back in the day.

  34. User945tz says:

    As a birthday gift to herself, Martha fired a couple of lower level execs. Not in person. Just texted it.

  35. lisakim says:

    After reading all the biographies of Martha Stewart, I really despise her. Yet…….her cooking shows are so relaxing and almost zen. I still watch her on PBS.

  36. Make Fists With Your Toes says:

    Oh my God, That was Martha Stewart? Crosses legs…now i feel weird.

    Evangeline Lilly is an angel. I’d watch Lost and just simply…stare. She’s brilliant.

    James Hetfield…Putting his ego aside, he’s the frontman of fucking Metallica.

    John C. McGinley…arguably the greatest character actor of the last 25 years. So awesome. Would love to work with him.

    John Landis…i like his exhuberance and the man did bring us to the world the likes of The Blues Brothers and Coming To America but…um…you know…helicopters….and uh….yeah.

    Martin Sheen is flat out cool as shit. Great actor, radiates compassion, intelligence and fatherly warmth like no other. Bittersweetly, he was the perfect President…and he was fictional. And not to say Cliff Robertson wasn’t great before him…but of the things The Amazing Spider-Man DID get right, it was in casting Martin Sheen as Uncle Ben. Just hit the nail on the head there.

    • Manimal 5000 says:

      Evangeline Lilly is an angel. I’d watch Lost and just simply…stare. She’s brilliant.

      I agree and that sexy toned body! Much like Jessica Biel.

  37. NaughtyChimp says:

    My imagination or does Martha’s foot look weeeeeird?

    • egos4lunch says:

      she has no muscle tone in her legs so her calf looks all skinny. Butta, yeah,never knew Martha was such a looker!

  38. Manimal 5000 says:

    Damn! Everbody looks great when they’re young. Hb to Mothra.

  39. Rick says:

    Is that her….? No, can’t be.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

alt="drupal analytics" >