“I‘ve seen that face on Katy Perry before…” said Robert Pattinson as he looks at Prince Hot Ginge making an “Errr, I just sharted” face in England today. Prince George’s future drinking partner was at the opening of the newly built the Royal Marines Tamar, HM Naval Base in Devonport, Plymouth today. During his visit, PHG took the parade salute and reviewed the guard (whatever that means). This would be the perfect opening to my favorite porn if you replaced those knives with dildos and they were all standing in a pool of lube.
Because the media still cares about Prince George (he’s two weeks old, let’s all move on!), they continued to ask PHG about him and I wish they didn’t. When PHG was asked if he’s glad Prince William and Duchess Kate took the pressure off of his peen by popping out an heir, he said words that shanked me in the soul:
“My father is over the moon to be a grandfather. No, he’s got one [grandchild] now it will be fine. The pressure’s off now.”
Why did “over the moon” have to fall out of his mouth? If he’s trying to make himself less fap-worthy by making ears barf with those words, it’s not going to work, but I will still scream “why, PHG, why?!” while doing so.