Afternoon Crumbs

July 30, 2013 / Posted by:

Before showing up to The CW’s Summer TCA Party yesterday, Tyra Banks was attacked by a mob of rabid pigeons and dragged through a tornado by two slobbery hyenas before falling against an electric fence, and her lace front STILL stayed on her head. Give that bitch another Wig Game gold medal. – Hollywood Tuna

I’m all for staged photo-ops starring Taylor Lautner and his newbie beard, but I’m not for those fug sandal boot things on her feet (UPDATE: It’s a brace. I’m a mess.) – Lainey Gossip

Lucky Magazine would’ve gotten a more fascinating interview if they talked to a soggy paper cup full of melted vanilla frozen yogurt instead – Celebitchy

Hold your wig, Grumpy Cat, because here comes Grump TroutThe Superficial 

Jesus, I thought that Glenn Beck moon was an unremarkable anus and yes, I know what I did there – Towleroad

Bikini model Chrissy Teigen is in a bikini and is modeling it – Drunken Stepfather

The Making of a Mermaid looks exactly like the Making of Courtney StoddenThe Berry 

Did Kat Dennings use hazelnut butter as eyeshadow? – IDLYITW

Gretchen Rossi’s love song to Slade Smiley is so beautiful that it makes me want to shit out pieces of my heart and then plug my ears with those shit-covered pieces – Reality Tea

This is what Anne Hathaway looks like after she works out – Popoholic

And isn’t kale supposedly a pregnancy superfood?!!!! The plot thins! – ICYDK

Wonky McValtrex brought 19 suitcases to Ibiza, but in her defense only 2 pairs of her clown shoes fit in one suitcase and Valtrex pills are really, really fat – HuffPo

Kate Upton’s dress is confusing – Just Jared

Some dude from Vampire Diaries is getting a divorce – SOW

FYI: Austin from the new 90210 doesn’t wax his ass – (NSFWish) OMG Blog

Oh sure, women get tickets when they take their tops off in public, but nobody does shit when a douche fetus goes topless – Moe Jackson 

And when RuPaul sashayed into Fergie’s baby shower, her baby jumped out of her twat to bow before his pink suit – Crunk + Disorderly

I love that Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen’s kids are giving us some Anne of Green Gables while sitting on a yacht – Popsugar

If Village of the Damned took place in Bushwick – I’m Not Obsessed

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