Afternoon Crumbs
Before showing up to The CW’s Summer TCA Party yesterday, Tyra Banks was attacked by a mob of rabid pigeons and dragged through a tornado by two slobbery hyenas before falling against an electric fence, and her lace front STILL stayed on her head. Give that bitch another Wig Game gold medal. – Hollywood Tuna
I’m all for staged photo-ops starring Taylor Lautner and his newbie beard, but I’m not for those fug sandal boot things on her feet (UPDATE: It’s a brace. I’m a mess.) – Lainey Gossip
Lucky Magazine would’ve gotten a more fascinating interview if they talked to a soggy paper cup full of melted vanilla frozen yogurt instead – Celebitchy
Hold your wig, Grumpy Cat, because here comes Grump Trout – The Superficial
Jesus, I thought that Glenn Beck moon was an unremarkable anus and yes, I know what I did there – Towleroad
Bikini model Chrissy Teigen is in a bikini and is modeling it – Drunken Stepfather
The Making of a Mermaid looks exactly like the Making of Courtney Stodden – The Berry
Did Kat Dennings use hazelnut butter as eyeshadow? – IDLYITW
Gretchen Rossi’s love song to Slade Smiley is so beautiful that it makes me want to shit out pieces of my heart and then plug my ears with those shit-covered pieces – Reality Tea
This is what Anne Hathaway looks like after she works out – Popoholic
And isn’t kale supposedly a pregnancy superfood?!!!! The plot thins! – ICYDK
Wonky McValtrex brought 19 suitcases to Ibiza, but in her defense only 2 pairs of her clown shoes fit in one suitcase and Valtrex pills are really, really fat – HuffPo
Kate Upton’s dress is confusing – Just Jared
Some dude from Vampire Diaries is getting a divorce – SOW
FYI: Austin from the new 90210 doesn’t wax his ass – (NSFWish) OMG Blog
Oh sure, women get tickets when they take their tops off in public, but nobody does shit when a douche fetus goes topless – Moe Jackson
And when RuPaul sashayed into Fergie’s baby shower, her baby jumped out of her twat to bow before his pink suit – Crunk + Disorderly
I love that Isla Fisher and Sacha Baron Cohen’s kids are giving us some Anne of Green Gables while sitting on a yacht – Popsugar
If Village of the Damned took place in Bushwick – I’m Not Obsessed