I can appreciate Winnie Cooper (born name: Danica Mae McKellar) doing herself up like a post-apocalyptic desert whore who gives sloppy hand jobs for canned peas at tank stops, but I CAN NOT appreciate her doing herself up like that for Avril Lavigne. I would expect this kind of foolery from Becky Slater or Lisa Berlini, but not Winnie Cooper.
For whatever reason (examples: bitch needs a quick check, she thinks this is a Make-A-Wish situation, etc… etc…), the Isaac Newton of this generation shot a cameo in Avril Lavigne’s video for “Rock ‘N Roll” in L.A. yesterday. Avril didn’t only drag a piece of my childhood into her latest 8th grade talent show act, but she also dragged Tank Girl into it. If the Tank Girl movie and a Lip Service clearance sale used a factory-defected jar of Manic Panic Lube to have bareback ass sex in a Port-A-Potty at the Gathering of the Juggalos, Avril is what their butt baby would look like.
Winnie Cooper has officially entered the What The Fuck Years. What in the hell kind of math genius is Winnie Cooper anyway? Doesn’t she know that the answer to the problem Winnie Cooper + Avril Lavigne is: NOOOOOOOOOOO.