As bystanders yelled, “Bitch, why did your sockets eat your eyeballs,” Tatum O’Neal strolled onto the NYC set of the Jennifer Aniston movie Squirrels to the Nuts on Wednesday. (Maybe Tatum plays a squirrel?) Tatum’s face was smooth puffy and she kind of looked like Channing Tatum wearing a stretched out rubber Renee Zellweger mask. A plastic surgeon type, who hasn’t fucked Tatum’s face with a filler needle, told Radar that in his professional medical opinion, Tatum probably gained a little chunk and also filled her face with the blood of Lara Flynn Boyle (aka Botox).
“Although weight gain can make a face look fuller, the amount of fullness is impressive. I suspect that she may have undergone injections of fat into her cheeks, which can occasionally balloon with massive weight gain. Her skin is smooth and pristine, which may be due to Botox injections and a series of chemical peels.”
I don’t know if it’s a good thing or a bad thing that Tatum’s eyes are in the Squinty position. On one hand, she won’t have to suffer through the pain of seeing her father come at her with his wiggling tongue. On the other hand, she won’t know that the man she’s flicking tongues with is her father.