This Hot Piece Might Be The Next Batman (But Probably Not)

July 24, 2013 / Posted by:

When Zack Snyder announced at Comic-Con over the weekend that the sequel to Man of Steel would also star Batman, some nerd boners suddenly got confused and many a nerd peen’s mouth side smirked to the side in a way that said, “not sure if I want or not….” The Superman vs. Batman movie is a shameless, messy ploy to get as much money into Warner Bros’ cleavage as possible and I was “eh” about it until now.

Cosmic Book News (via ONTD) heard from a “tipster” that 25-year-old Tyler Hoechlin of Teen Wolf and 7th Heaven is at the top of the list of dudes to play Batman. The tipster says that Tyler is going to do a screen test with Henry Cavill. Warner Bros. and Zack Snyder want a new-ish ho to play Batman, but they’re also screen testing bigger names.

The “tipster” is probably Tyler Hoechlin’s publicist and this is never going to happen in real life, but let me wet dream a little wet dream. The Superman vs. Batman movie is going to be a ridiculous CGI mess, so they should at least give nipples something to tingle over by putting TyHo in it. If TyHo competed against a wet merkin in Star Search’s acting category, the wet merkin would get all the votes and Ed McMahon would declare it the winner, but who cares? What TyHo lacks in acting skills, he makes up for in hotness and grizzly brows. Make him Batman (and also make Batman mute and allergic to all clothes)!

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