FREEEEEEE (insert the name of Amanda Bynes’ dog here and I’ll be really disappointed if his name isn’t Bongie Graham)!!!!
Amanda Bynes is sitting in a hospital on a 5150 hold right now, because she had a full-on breakdown and nearly melted the tips on her polyester wig when she started a fire on a stranger’s driveway near her parent’s house in Thousand Oaks, CA. Now TMZ is saying that it wasn’t a small campfire. One witness says that Amanda was trying to make a DIY bomb. Amanda dragged a gas canister on the driveway and threw a flaming cloth on it. He didn’t know if the gas canister was full or not, but he still jumped out of his car, ran over and found Amanda lying on the driveway. Her pant leg was on fire, so he put that out. Amanda wasn’t hurt, but he says her dog was burned. HER DOG GOT BURNED! That flaming fire is a serious bitch. Why couldn’t it eat Amanda’s wig instead of coming at her dog? That poor dog is somewhere rubbing burn cream on his body while inhaling the rancid, nasty, smell of burnt fur. And the smell of burnt fur is like an unemployed and broke trick you picked up on Craigslist for a one-night-stand. It doesn’t ever go away.
The guy says that after he put out the fire, Amanda ran off and he went after her and her dog. As he was chasing her, she was on the phone with a cab and when the cab showed up, she jumped in. He tried to stop her, but she got away. The cops later caught up to her and 5150’d her.
Bonnie Braaten, the widow who lives in the house that Amanda almost blew up, talked to reporters today and showed them and some children the burn mark on her driveway. If you look closely, you can almost see the face of Drake winking at you.
Bonnie tells TMZ that one neighbor has offered to power wash her driveway for free, but she turned down his offer, because she thinks Amanda’s parents should pay for the cleanup. But Amanda’s father tells TMZ that he isn’t taking out his wallet, because he believes Amanda should pay for it. As Memaw Bonnie and Amanda’s parents fight over important issues like who the hell should pay to wash the stupid ass driveway, Amanda’s sitting in a mental ward. Priorities! I’m sure they can work this out, though.
Hopefully after Amanda gets help, she’ll pay to get the ugly out of Memaw Bonnie’s driveway and Memaw Bonnie will give her some much needed beauty tips. I mean, look at Bonnie’s bowl cut of perfection. Who ever cut Bonnie’s hair should do circumcisions. Her hair is that exquisitely cut. She’s what mushrooms look like in heaven. So Amanda would be lucky to have Memaw Bonnie as her beauty mentor. We’d all be lucky to have Memaw Bonnie as our beauty mentor.