Kensington Palace announced today that after 45 days of labor, Duchess Kate popped out a baby prince. I was hoping she’d give birth to a Corgi, but sadly for me, she gave birth to a human boy instead:
Her Royal Highness The Duchess of Cambridge was safely delivered of a son at 4.24pm.
The baby weighs 8lbs 6oz.
The Duke of Cambridge was present for the birth.
The Queen, The Duke of Edinburgh, The Prince of Wales, The Duchess of Cornwall, Prince Harry and members of both families have been informed and are delighted with the news.
Her Royal Highness and her child are both doing well and will remain in hospital overnight.
Since Duchess Kate’s pregnancy dragged on for a million months and her labor dragged on for a million hours, they’ll probably take their time in announcing his name. I’m guessing they’re going to go with Prince Diano Charles Pippo Robert Crawley John Paul George Ringo Morrissey. Or they’ll just keep it simple and go with Prince Hot Ginge Jr. Congratulations to the new prince! He’s already richer than all of us, gets to spit up on PHG and he has more hair than his father (for now)!
And when Kim Kartrashian tries to steal the spotlight from the new prince by releasing pictures of North West, don’t look! Just keep your eyes on that stupid Lindo Wing door.