Kanye West Rants About Taylor Swift And Pink In A Post-VMAs Tape

Remember back in the olden days of 2009 when Kanye West was still an asshole and Taylor Swift wasn’t totally pull-your-pubes-out-and-eat-them annoying? Well, Gawker took us back there today when they posted a secret tape of Kanye being Kanye after his “Imma let you finish” moment at the VMAs in 2009. The leaked tape was secretly recorded at the Corner Bistro in the West Village right after the VMAs. It’s not confirmed that it’s Kanye on the tape, but it sounds like Kanye and listening to it made my ears barf out gay fish jizz, so it must be Kanye!

In the tape, that’s under a minute long, Kanye says some shit about Taylor Swift, MTV, Pink and then says that his mother died for this fame shit. It’s a mess, it’s all over the place and it’s typical Kanye. Kanye starts off by talking about why he snatched the mic from Taylor of Green Gables:

“I’m pushing the envelope! I wrote my fuckin’ ‘Run This Town’ verse for a fuckin’ month! When I heard Eminem’s verse on the Drake shit, I went back and rewrote my shit for two days. I canceled appointments to rewrite! I fuckin’ care! You know what I’m saying? And that’s what I’m saying. Because I did that, Taylor Swift cannot win over Beyoncé! Because I wrote my verse in two days, Taylor Swift cannot beat Beyoncé. As long as I’m alive! And if I’m alive, kill me then! Kill me then! As long as I’m alive, you gon’ have to deal with it. ‘Cause there ain’t gonna be no more motherfucking Elvises with no James Browns.”

He canceled dentist appointments for that shit! Taylor Swift cannot win over Beyonce, because he has cavities now since he canceled appointments and dental cleanings and shit.

And then he went in on Pink in the most hilarious way:

“It ain’t no love. What the fuck was Pink performing? Don’t nobody know that song. Pink performed twice! Two songs? How the fuck Pink perform two songs and I didn’t even get asked to perform “Heartless.” “Heartless” is the biggest song of the year! It had the most spins of the first quarter! I don’t know that Pink song! But I noticed that she’s pink! “

That last line should be the official tagline of cocaine. I want to cackle while pounding my head against a hard surface.

During the recording, a woman asked him why he’s so angry and he said, “Because my mother got arrested for the fuckin’ sit-ins. My mother died for this fame shit! I moved to fuckin’ Hollywood chasing this shit. My mother died because of this shit. Fuck MTV.”

I don’t even know. The audio is at Gawker and it’s a crazy, manic, mess. If you inhale hard while listening to it, you’ll get second-hand coke high. This Kanye’s ego on coke and massive amounts of delusion.