Yesterday, Lainey had a blind item about some big star who had a full-time official girlfriend and a side piece he was doing on the side. The side piece kept trying to get him to dump the official girlfriend for her and when he refused, she got herself a new dude and let it be known by releasing a statement to a magazine. The big star dumped the official girlfriend and now he’s waiting for the side piece to come to him. All signs pointed to Usher and Justin Bieber. No, all signs really pointed to Eva Longoria and George Clooney. Then today, UsWeekly has this headline: “George Clooney Pursued Eva Longoria Before Stacy Keibler Breakup.” UsWeekly forgot to add something. That shit should read: “Eva Longoria Told Us That George Clooney Pursed Eva Longoria Before Stacy Keibler Breakup.”
UsWeekly’s “source” says that right before George Clooney slipped a pink slip under Stacy Keibler’s door, he hung out at SoHo House in Berlin with Eva and tried to get into her chonies. Eva kept her legs closed and George kept trying and trying and trying… The “source” said this:
“George began pursuing Eva. He told her that he was still with Stacy, but had plans to break up with her and was interested in being with Eva. [He] continued to pursue her with texts and calls. Eva made it clear to him that she would not date or be with him until he was completely single. George and Eva never hooked up.”
So, the blind items says that he and she did it while he was with his full-time piece and UsWeekly says that he tried to do it with her, but she is a woman of integrity and would never do a dude who currently has a contract with an award show escort. Okay. But really, UsWeekly’s “source” should’ve went all the way and added, “And George even showed up to Eva Longoria’s house in a tuxedo with a priest at his side and two wedding rings in his hand, because the love he feels for that talented, powerful, intelligent, gorgeous and captivating woman cured his allergy to marriage. George even underwent a dangerous reverse vasectomy, because he wants to make children with the most interesting, beautiful and important woman he’s ever met. A woman named Eva Jacqueline Longoria.”
I mean, if the “source” is going to pull our dicks, they might as well pull our dicks all the way.