Leah Remini Issues A Vague Ass Statement About Quitting Scientology

July 12, 2013 / Posted by:

Leah Remini looks like the kind of loudmouth who will either knuckle you in the talk hole with all her rings on or quit you if you tell her to put her lips together and shut up, so I shouldn’t have been surprised that she dumped Scientology after they told her to hit the mute button on her vocal cords, but I was. Page Six and Tony Ortega reported that Leah plugged out of the 16-bit Atari video game masquerading as a religion, because they punished her when she asked where David Miscarriage’s wife was and squinted her eyes at his leadership skills. Last night, Leah gave a statement to People and thanked hos for being supportive. Leah’s statement of words is pretty vague and for all we know she could be thanking people for supporting her while she got a butt wart burned off, but I’m pretty sure this is about Scientology. She should’ve added a subtle, “Fuck you, David Miscarriage,” at the end of her statement, though.

“I wish to share my sincere and heartfelt appreciation for the overwhelming positive response I have received from the media, my colleagues, and from fans around the world. I am truly grateful and thankful for all your support.”

Leah didn’t add the canned “please respect my privacy at this time” line that every celebwhore adds to every damn statement, because she knows that we know that it’s impossible to contact her since she took a sledgehammer to all her phones, burned her house down, sold her social security number to identity thieves and is now hiding out in the basement of a pharmaceutical factory under a pile of anti-depressants, Matt Lauer headshots and rubber vaginas. Not even the hardest Scientology soldier (who looks like this) is going to get near a mountain of anti-depressants and rubber vaginas.

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