Star Magazine claims in their newest issue that Lamar Odom has a wandering dick and his wandering dick wandered into the mouth of a 29-year-old stripper from DC. A pap ran into Lamar yesterday and decided to ask him if he’s screwing around on Khloe Kartrashian. Lamar denied it, because if he did cheat on Khloe with some random stripper, Pimp Mama Kris would bury his ripped-out nuts next to Bruce Jenner’s ripped-out nuts for not making a cheating sex tape that she can sell to the highest bidder.
Lamar could’ve left it at that, but he really wanted to nail his denial into that pap’s brain. Lamar got out of his car with a piece of metal in his hand and pulled a bunch of crap out of the pap’s car. Lamar put it in his car, realized he could probably got in trouble for that and then threw all the stuff into the middle of the street. Lamar then smashed a different pap’s car with the metal bar before randomly posing for a picture with a fan. I half-expected Lamar to bow at the end, because he gave that bus full of tourists a show.
The paparazzo is obviously going to sue Lamar for millions of dollars, but he should really feel grateful and lucky to be alive. If Khlozilla was in the car with Lamar, it would’ve gone down a lot differently. It would’ve looked a lot like this:
Bitch would be smashing flying helicopters with her claws and stomping on houses. Tourist would’ve been tossed in the air, The National Guard would’ve been called in and most of the L.A. area would still be without power today. So my frozen-due-to-airconditioning body is grateful that Khlozilla was not around.