Amanda Bynes, the sole beauty in a world full of uglies (bitch is like that Twilight Zone episode), sashayed into court this morning wearing one of Nicki Minaj’s leftover wigs and an outfit that says, “My ass just woke up, realized it’s trash day and now I gotta run outside to put the cans on the curb.”
Amanda was in front of a judge in NYC today to answer to the charges that were thrown at her after she tossed a bong (or a vase, whatever) out of her apartment window back in May. Amanda accused the cops of coming into her apartment illegally and she also claimed that one of the cops did a reverse Zsa Zsa Gabor by slapping her in the cooch. The cops deny it.
When you’re defending yourself in court and trying to show the judge that you’re not crazy, it’s always a good idea to wear an aqua wig, sweats and a tank top jersey. It really says that you’re taking this shit seriously and you’re a responsible citizen. Sweat pants and a tank top jersey IS the new power suit. You know, I’ve always felt like the real style icons of the world are the beauties who spend hours on their hair (not that Amanda did, obviously) and hours on their make-up and then put on stained sweats and a yellowing Hanes white t-shirt. They’re all painted up and glamorous from the neck up and from the neck down they look like they’ve given up on life. I see them all at my family reunions (because that’s basically what my cousins look like) and I also see them all at Big Lots. They’re BigLotsinistas! And that’s pretty much what Amanda Bynes is serving up here.
Nothing really happened in court today. TMZ says that Amanda didn’t say anything and the judge told her to come back in September. The real truth is that the judge excused themselves from the case, because they know that they’re way too ugly to sit before Amanda Bynes.