Eva Longoria Is Dating A Dude From Her Failed Reality Show

Ready to Love, the reality dating show that Eva Longoria produced died and was buried in NBC’s grave after only two episodes, but at least she got a hot piece out of it. Floridian entrepreneur and philanthropist Ernesto Arguello was a contestant on Ready to Love and he picked former Miss USA Shandi Finnessey. But a few months ago there were rumors that Ernesto wasn’t with Shandi because he had moved into Eva Longoria’s house and was bumping nipples with her. But at the time, Eva spewed out some bullshit and said that they weren’t doing it and that a lot of the contestants lived at her house because they had no other place in L.A. to stay and blah blah blah blah. Eva was obviously saying that while boning Ernesto. Well, yesterday Eva said in a statement to People (yes, a statement to People) that she’s with Ernesto, but they only got together recently and they have the tabloids to thank. My eyeballs rolled like they’ve never rolled before.

“I think that’s why our relationship is so special – we truly started as friends. I guess we have the press to thank for pushing us to see something we didn’t see!”

The only pushing going on was Eva pushing her chocha onto Ernesto’s peen during the past four months. Let’s be honest.

A source (aka one of Eva’s cousins who she paid to say only good things) laid it on thick to People by saying that Ernesto and Eva are perfect together and will probably get married in a year or less.

“It’s very real – they’re both in love, which is rare for him. They’re always traveling together. His family likes her a lot … they’ve never seen him so taken by someone. Eva is a firm believer in marriage. Ernie may be a player when he is single, but he’s never cheated on anyone and is very religious. I think the fact that he’s so family oriented is what got her. My guess would be they’ll be married within the next year.”

Jesus and God are throwing a double side-eye at that “very religious” shit, because the last time they checked Thou Shalt Not Lie was still one of the Ten Commandments or whatever. And Eva obviously broke that one when she denied doing Ernesto even though you could practically smell his crotch on her breath. But Ernesto is a total upgrade from that Tony Parker dude and judging by that look of excitement on her face, he has a toothless mouth on the back of his neck.