Who Wore It Better?

July 2, 2013 / Posted by:

On the left is RiRi at the Chanel couture show in Paris today. On the right is a front yard Scrooge statue holding a lantern. Had RiRi accessorized her old man nightgown with a nightcap and a lantern, and had a look on her face like she was searching the darkness for spirits, she would’ve won this. But she didn’t, so game point goes to the Scrooge statute!

Since we’re on the subject of old man nightgowns… (Note: I might’ve told this story before. Stoned messes tend to repeat themselves a lot.) When I was in the third or fourth grade, my school friends and I went door-to-door selling Helen Grace eggs during Easter times. One of my friends’ mom came with us and stood at the sidewalk while went up to the door. We went to this one house where an 80-something couple lived. The pepaw came to the door wearing a button down nightgown like RiRi’s, except his was short and burgundy. Ole’ dude should’ve kept a pair of chonies by the front door so he wouldn’t give his visitors a peek of his soft-boiled huevos when he answered the door. His wrinkled nuts were hanging out of his shorty robe. I don’t think he knew, but it was still highly inappropriate and ILLEGAL! We turned around and ran to my friend’s mom as though the face of Freddy Krueger was on that old dude’s nuts.

So when I see RiRi in a nightgown all I see are wrinkly white man nuts. Thank you for traumatizing me again, RiRi.

Pics: Getty, Splash

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