Bruno the dog and this amazing news graphic from New Zealand’s 3 News!
Bruno the dog of South Auckland hates tires more than he hates anything. When he was a puppy, a car ran over his ass and ever since then he’s vowed to destroy all tires. (Note to Kim Kartrashian: If you don’t want Bruno’s teeth in your Goodyear ass, don’t wear black leather pants around him. Note to everyone: Let’s start a Kickstarter to get Kim Kartrashian new black leather pants and a one way ticket to South Auckland!)
The police were called to Bruno’s house the other day, because he was acting the fool in the front yard. The police made the serious mistake of showing up in a car that had rubber tires on it. Bruno took one of the car’s tire’s out by biting into that bitch. The police didn’t know about Bruno’s tire-hating ways, because they changed the tire and he immediately bit that bitch too. The tire body count grew to 3 when a second cop car showed up and Bruno busted that car’s tire too. One of the cops must’ve been getting off on watching Bruno murder tires, because an animal control car was called in and he popped his fourth tire. I’m assuming that the Benny Hill theme song blasted through the streets while Bruno murdered each tire, because that shit is comedy.
After Bruno became a certified serial killer of tires and took out his fourth tire, they managed to arrest his ass and take him to doggy jail. Bruno is sitting in doggy jail until his owner’s build him a proper enclosure that’ll keep him from terrorizing tires.
The second HSOTD in this story are the graphics that 3 News used to tell Bruno’s story. The graphic genius responsible for this should immediately become SyFy’s head of special effects, because they know how to use the latest technology to tell a story. That shit is thrilling. I love those graphics as much as Bruno hates tires.