JLo Is Sorry For Performing For The Leader Of Turkmenistan

June 30, 2013 / Posted by:

Above is a clip of JLo performing for Gurbanguly Berdymukhamedov, the leader of “one of the world’s most repressive countries,” at his extra fancy birthday party in Avaza, Turkmenistan last night. As expected, human rights groups and Mia Farrow are throwing shit at JLo for getting paid at least $1 million to perform for the dictator of a country with a shitty human rights record. Facebook, Twitter, most of the Internet and being openly gay is illegal in Turkmenistan and journalists have been psychically and mentally  tortured in the country’s prisons. The president of the Human Rights Foundation shook his head at JLo and asked if she’s going to perform in Syria next.

“Lopez obviously has the right to earn a living performing for the dictator of her choice and his circle of cronies, but her actions utterly destroy the carefully-crafted message she has cultivated with her prior involvement with Amnesty International’s programs in Mexico aimed at curbing violence against women,” said Human Rights Foundation (HRF) president Thor Halvorssen. “What is the next stop on her tour, Syria? The dictator of Kazakhstan’s birthday is July 6, maybe she will also pay him a visit?” Halvorssen asked.

Freedom House ranks the Berdymukhamedov dictatorship as one of the nine “worst of the worst”; Transparency international ranks it as a bottom-seven country in their Corruption Perception Index; Reporters Without Borders classifies him as a “predator of press freedom” and ranks Turkmenistan as the world’s third-worst place for journalists, between Syria, North Korea, and Eritrea; HRF considers it one of the world’s most totalitarian regimes. Berdymukhamedov was re-elected with 97% of the vote in 2012. The vote was so obviously fraudulent that the OSCE declined to even send observers.

Cut to JLo calling up the dictator of Kazakhstan to tell him that there’s too much heat on her right now and she can’t sing “Happy Birthday” at his birthday celebration next month, but can she keep the pile of blood stained money he gave her?

JLo’s spokeswhore played the dumb bitch role and said that JLo and nobody in her team knew about Turkmenistan’s human rights record. If they did know, she would’ve never performed there.

“Had there been knowledge of human rights issues any kind, Jennifer would not have attended.”

JLo’s spokeswhore didn’t say if she was planning to donate the money she made.

Ho, please. Like Casper Smart didn’t know something in the milk wasn’t clean when he Googled “best glory holes in Turkmenistan” and nothing came up? Are we really supposed to believe that none of JLo’s people know how to use Google? (Actually, I believe that). JLo would perform at Paula Deen’s slave-themed party if she was paid enough, so she obviously knew. And bitch knew that if she was called out on it, she’d pull some “Huh?! Wha? I thought Turkmenistan was Turkey’s full name! I had no idea!” shit. Well, I guess nothing will make you forget that you’re performing for an evil dictator like millions of dollars.

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