Afternoon Crumbs

June 27, 2013 / Posted by:

The greasy unicorn that is Spaz de la Huerta stepped out in Hollywood last night working her signature bump. Could be coke bloat, could be a baby, could just be her stomach. If we see a coked up unicorn baby flying around in a few months, we’ll know it was the first and second one.  - Lainey Gossip

Judging by the way Val Kilmer looks today, I think a better plot for Heat 2 would be that we find out that his character is a post-op late-in-life lesbian who is boning Natalie PortmanThe Superficial

Macklemore’s thoughts on RuPaul telling DOMA to sashay away – Towleroad

Rosie Huntington-Whateverly shows us that smizing is so over and it’s about dead eyez now – Hollywood Tuna

Kate Upton serves up some CURVAS SIMS! (just pretend I know what that means) on Vogue BrasilDrunken Stepfather

I was wondering why my browser was shaking uncontrollably and now I know it’s because it’s preparing for the 10,000 word haiku that Tammy Lynn Michaels is going to barf out about this – Celebitchy

And now I know that Hayden Panatroll can elbow fuck Wladimir Klitschko in the belly button while standing up – Popoholic

I hope this means that Mean Memaws is next – ICYDK

Every assholian rage toddler needs a babysitter to remind him to not hit women and I guess Karcuchi Tran fills that role for The Difficult Brown – IDLYITW

Glenn Beck, as usual, is not helping  - Videogum

Australian bulge and nalgas alert – OMG Blog

Martha Stewart had a threesome. I think that’s my cue to shut down and take a cold bath – HuffPo

Adele’s raggedy mop tells me that yup, she’s been taking care of a newborn for a while - Just Jared

Seth from The OC is doing Blair from Gossip GirlPopsugar

Beyonce’s new song sounds like something that was cut from the rave musical inspired by The Jungle BookI’m Not Obsessed

My guess is….Tan Mom after getting a haircut? – SOW

Pic: PCN

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