Damn. When even Walmart doesn’t want to be seen holding hands with you out in public….
Walmart’s spokesperson Dave Tovar said in a statement today that they are done with her and they have no plans to carry her line of cooking pots and pies anymore. Walmart is extra cold for dumping Paula after she gave the performance of her life! This is what Walmart had to say about their breakup with Paula:
“We will not place new orders beyond those already committed. We will work with suppliers to address existing inventories and agreements.”
Not even a canned, “We wish her all the best.” They just washed the butter off and walked away. I wonder what Paula’s fans are going to do, because when The Food Network cut her ass, her fans all screamed, “BOYCOTT THE FOOD NETWORK!” When it was announced that blind item blow job queen Giada De Laurentiis was moving into Paula’s old slot (sorry for that visual, I know it made your nips secrete butter), her fans all screamed, “BOYCOTT GIADA! BOYCOTT BLOW JOBS!” When Smithfield Foods dropped Paula, her fans all screamed, “BOYCOTT HAM!” And the same goes for Caesars.
So are Paula’s fans really going to boycott ‘Murica’s answer to Vatican City? Walmart is probably like a sacred church to Paula’s fans. What are they going to do? They will have to make the hardest decisions of their lives! This is some Sophie’s Choice shit. Or they’re just going to wear a disguise whenever they go to Walmart and refuse to buy Sam’s Choice butter.