Bitch Got Fried: The Food Network Is Not Renewing Paula Deen’s Contract

June 21, 2013 / Posted by:

I know I usually write “Bitch Got Fired,” but my finger compelled me to switch the I and the R.

When a ho falls from buttered grace, a ho falls from buttered grace. The Food Network announced today that they are not renewing Paula Deen’s contract when it expires at the end of this month. The Food Network let it be known that they are dropping her ass just a quick minute after Paula released an awkward video where she spat out a pr-written canned apology while looking like a dehydrated and sad Craisin. Paula must’ve realized that the first video was a mess, because she released a second one (below) where she apologized to Matt Lauer for not showing up to Today. The Food Network didn’t come out and say that they fired Paula because of the N-word disaster, but they didn’t need to.

According to The New York Times, The Food Network also said that the show that stars Paula’s sons will stay on the network.

As every Land O’ Lakes executive falls to the floor in tears, Anthony Bourdain is falling to the floor in laughter. I’m sure the Baroness of Butter will try to rise again. She’ll get together with Michael Richards and Mel Gibson and the three of them will launch their own network called White Entertainment Television (WET for short).

The bad news is that this means The Food Network is probably going to give more shows to Guy Fieri.

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