Kim Kartrashian gave birth to the Kimye baby about 5 days ago after being knocked up for 37 weeks and methinks it’s going to be another 37 weeks before she and Kanye birth out the name of their adorable ATM, because Pimp Mama Kris is going to milk it for maximum attention and selling the release of the baby name to the highest bidder takes time. PMK only has two hands and one hand is constantly fingering Ryan Seacrest so it could take a while.
Hollywood Life says the name is Kai Georgia Donda West, MTO says it’s Kaidence Donda West, InTouch says it’s North West, others say it’s Klementine Star West and my b-hole says it’s Kashorella Klitoris Kardashian. But UsWeekly says that everybody is pretty much dead wrong and InTouch is the closest to being right, because the Kimye baby’s first name will not start with a K. Somewhere in the alphabet ward of the hospital, the letter K, which has been abused by the Kardashians so much that it’s on its death bed, breathed a sigh of relief for the first time in years. Some source said this to UsWeekly:
“They’re not quite ready to announce the name yet. But the name definitely does not start with a K, despite all the rumors that have been out.
Everybody is doing great. The baby is so sweet. Kanye is in love. Kim’s real due date was July 12 — Kanye’s mom’s birthday. That warmed his heart.”
“They’re not quit ready to announce the name yet” means that they’re going to announce the name on the premiere of Pimp Mama Kris’ talk show since that’s the only way anybody’s going to watch that krap show.
It’s probably taking so damn long because Kanye’s lawyers are trying to get the government to accept emoticons as official government names. Kanye wants the Kimye’s baby name to be an emoticon Jesus worshiping an emoticon Kanye (or an emoticon Kanye running away from an emoticon Kim).