Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 19, 2013 / Posted by:

The Muppet roadkill wig(s) that Cher wore on the season finale of The Voice last night. 

Who cares if Cher wore all the office supplies on her blazer last night? (Cher never knows when she might feel the sudden need to collate and staple.) Who cares if Cher opened herself up to a million Depends thong jokes when she wore Justin Bieber’s™ droopy diaper pants. Who cares if Cher’s new single “Woman’s World” sounds like the Euro remix of every song on her “Living Proof” album playing backwards at once. Who cares if Cher was so stiff that if she was lubed up, John Travolta would’ve grabbed a ladder, sat on her head and showed her what the inside of his Scientolohole looks like. Who cares if that performance was so confusing that I didn’t know if she was singing live, synching her lips to a track or if the track was synching to her lips. She’s Cher! She’s 67 and can do whatever the hell she wants.

Cher snatched every pop ho’s wig and threw them all on her head to perform on The Voice last night and made every bitch wish their plastic surgery looked that good when they’re almost 70. Cher still moves her body onstage more than Brit Brit does, but she was still as stiff as a dick on Viagra and I don’t care about that either. In case you missed it, here’s Cher doing the most while doing the least:

The best part of this beautiful mess was the pile of wigs on top of her head. I saw a picture on Yahoo! the other day of 6 king squirrels whose tails were fused together from huddling in a formation for so long and that’s pretty much what Cher’s wig looks like. She’s got a king squirrel formation on her head.

It looks like the pink one mounted the black one and is going balls deep while two other pink ones watch. There’s definitely some messed up shit happening on Cher’s head. PETA hates her, Mama June wants to eat her and I love her. She’s Cher!

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