Nigella Lawson’s Husband Gets A Gentle Slap On The Wrist For Attacking Her

June 18, 2013 / Posted by:

Nigella Lawson’s 70-year-old millionaire husband Charles Saatchi has backed away from that whole “Oh, we were just playing a little game of “I choke you out and you look terrified as shit’” claim and has accepted a warning from the police forĀ strangling herĀ during a fight on the patio of their favorite restaurant in London last week.

The London Evening Standard says that Choke You Out Charlie went to the police station and talked with investigators for four hours, but only because he wanted to get the whole situation behind him so he can get back to putting his hands on Nigella’s mouth and neck when his ears don’t like the words that she’s saying. Even though Nigella never filed a report, Charles says he took the blame and sashayed away with nothing but a small slap on the nalgas. Charles strangling Nigella was more intense than the slap the police gave him. Charles said this about the whole thing:

“Although Nigella made no complaint I volunteered to go to Charing Cross station and take a police caution after a discussion with my lawyer because I thought it was better than the alternative of this hanging over all of us for months.”

Nigella hasn’t said anything about this, but her rep said that she and her chirruns left their house. The rep didn’t say if it was temporary or permanent.

A caution? That’s like a soft slap on the hand followed by a boo boo kiss. Sometimes the police are funny. This is why abuelitas should run the police force in every city in every country. An abuelita’s idea of a warning is the down-eye of doom she throws as she pulls her chancelta off of her foot.

Our commenting rules: Don't be racist or bigoted, or post comments like "Who cares?", or have multiple accounts, or repost a comment that was deleted by a mod, or post NSFW pics/videos/GIFs, or go off topic when not in an Open Post, or post paparazzi/event/red carpet pics from photo agencies due to copyright infringement issues. Also, promoting adblockers, your website, or your forum is not allowed. Breaking a rule may result in your Disqus account getting permanently or temporarily banned. New commenters must go through a period of pre-moderation. And some posts may be pre-moderated so it could take a minute for your comment to appear if it's approved. If you have a question or an issue with comments, email: michaelk@dlisted.com

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >