Afternoon Crumbs

Kristen Stewart went to Hooters in Texas and actually smiled naturally and I’m guessing it has a lot to do with her being surrounded by chichis – Popsugar

Katy Perry says something no one should ever say out loud: “I’m madly in love with John Mayer” – Lainey Gossip

Two things: 1) I can’t wait to hear 12 hip hop songs of Amanda Bynes singing about how ugly everybody is and; 2) Wearing your wig in the Jacuzzi is never a good idea, but I’m okay with Amanda doing it, because at least her wig got sanitized – The Superficial

And 12 minutes later, the coroner came in to dispose of the hos that Russell Brand destroyed – Towleroad

Eddie Murphy’s newest piece is still in a bikini – Hollywood Tuna

Jessica Lee should write everybody’s yearbook quote from now on – Drunken Stepfather

The first picture is basically me in 35 years at the old sluts retirement home and I can’t wait – The Berry

Brooke Mueller has quit rehab and that isn’t the first time I’ve written those words and it probably won’t be the last – ICYDK

Eva Longoria looks like a slutty esthetician from the future – Popoholic

Please let there be a Wife Swap with Ivanka Trump and Katie Holmes – Celebitchy

Russell Brand is really, really smooth – IDLYITW

White Oprah better step it up, because Backdoor Farrah somehow found a way to be more delusional than her – Reality Tea

Panty Creamer of the Day: TILDA!!!!! – Just Jared

Charlie Sheen is trying to fire Selma Blair – I’m Not Obsessed

In case you really want to know how Serena Williams feels about the Steubenville rape case – Jezebel

THANK GOD Lindsay Lohan is at a rehab place that allows staged photo-ops – HuffPo

Nick Cannon’s got his very own Hammaconda – SOW

That bristle brush headpiece still looks better than Amanda Bynes’ wig – SOW

“YAAAASSS!” said my 8-year-old self – Videogum