Jon Gosselin Killed Ed Hardy

June 17, 2013 / Posted by:

Don Ed Hardy, the tattoo artist whose work inspired the official clothing line for douchebags Ed Hardy, tells The New York Post that he cried tears of sadness over the Ed Hardy brand drowning in a pool of dirty douche water and he blames it on Jon Gosselin. Ed Hardy also puts blame on Christian Audigier who was the head of Von Dutch (enough said) and licensed Ed Hardy’s art for t-shirts and butt plugs. Ed Hardy says that Christian was a major star fucker with zero standards and would throw an Ed Hardy t-shirt on any  fame whore. Ed Hardy said that the final studded nail in the coffin was a picture of Jon partying in an Ed Hardy shirt on Christian’s yacht in Cannes.

“That Jon Gosselin thing was the nail in the coffin. That’s what tanked it. Macy’s used to have a huge window display with Ed Hardy, and it filtered down and that’s why Macy’s dropped the brand.

Christian worships celebrities so much, he will get next to anyone who is famous for anything. If he could have gotten Charles Manson in a shirt, he would have.”

The Gosselins should be blamed for EVERYTHING (examples: inspiring OctoMom, torturing possums, etc…), but Jon Gosselin isn’t the reason why Ed Hardy is now lying in a shallow grave in the clearance section at Ross. Ed Hardy died when even doucheholes realized that they didn’t have to spend $100 on an Ed Hardy t-shirt. They figured out that they could get the same effect by writing the word DOUCHE in diarrhea on an old Hanes t-shirt.

Ed Hardy isn’t completely dead, though. A few years ago, MTV took 8 cum-stained Ed Hardy t-shirts, poured diseased Jacuzzi water on them and out came the cast of Jersey Shore! So Ed Hardy lives on! And Ed Hardy is also alive and well in L.A., because not a week goes by when I don’t see a chick in an Ed Hardy dress and platform flip-flops at the car wash. She’s the one asking if they have mojito-scented air freshener.

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