Hot Slut Of The Day!

The romantic and beyond classy bald patch tattoo that a 68-year-old British man got to honor his 28-year-old wife.

Even though Bob Baker of Hemel Hempstead was 40 years old when his young piece of a wife Kelly was barely a fetus, their marital love has lasted three years and so he decided that the most romantic and beautiful way to pay tribute to her is to get a tattoo of her mowing whatever hair he has left while wearing a bikini and heels (although, those look more like kitten heeled-booties to me). Bob’s two grown children, who are both older than Kelly, bought him the bald patch tattoo as a Father’s Day gift. Mr. Baker, who also has Kelly’s name tattooed on his neck (how chola-like of him), tells the BBC (via Arbroath) that most people who have seen the fuckery on his head love it:

“75% of people who have seen it say it’s wicked and come up and shake my hand.”

That 75% was probably so boozed up and so stoned that they had a blurry filter over their eyeballs, because that tattoo looks like Kelly as much as my b-hole looks like a freshly bloomed baby pink rose. That tattoo looks more like a deformed turtle woman with a ginger wig pushing a cart full of Legos.

I know, I’m crazy. The resemblance is just so amazing and it almost looks like an actual photograph of Kelly pushing a real lawnmower while wearing a bikini. You can barely tell the difference!

And if you’re a father, this Father’s Day, do something selfless FOR ONCE and honor your piece by getting a tattoo of them that looks nothing like them.

Happy Daddy’s Day to all the daddies! (And I’m sorry if you read “Happy Daddy’s Day” and pictured Courtney Stodden saying that to Doug Hutchison as he eats a Father’s Day breakfast of scrambled eggs and corned beef hash off of her pushed-up tits.)