Falkor Rimes’ Album Kind Of Flopped

Somewhere in between tweeting every damn detail of her life and having a clavicle bone fight with Brandi Glanville, LeAnn Rimes found time to make an album called Spitfire. That’s a funny title, because Brandi Glanville claims that most coochies spit fire after getting on Eddie Cibrian’s supposedly diseased peen. Maybe that title was an homage to Eddie’s dick. That was sweet of Falkor.

LeAnn says that Spitfire is her most personal album ever, because she yodels about breaking her marriage vows on Eddie Cibrian’s hard peen and blah blah blah blah blah. It’s basically LeAnn’s Twitter page with a country twang. LeAnn probably thought that singing about the scandals in her life worked for Taylor Swift so it should work for her ass too. It didn’t. The NYDN says that even though it got mostly good reviews, Spitfire only sold 10,798 copies and only made it to #36 on the Billboard 200. It didn’t even go Double Saran Wrap.

10,798 copies…. Hmmmm…. 10,798 is exactly how many personalities LeAnn has. Bitch bought a copy for every one of her personalities! So in LeAnn’s living room are towers and towers and towers of her own CDs. Eddie doesn’t mind, because it gives him plenty of places to screw his side piece of the moment behind. And 10,798 is also the number of minutes Brandi Glanville’s going to spend cackling after learning about this shit.