Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 9, 2013 / Posted by:

Somehow I lived through the 90s without experiencing the magical and mystical infomercial for The Flo. Or if I did the magic and spiritualness was too much for my brain to comprehend and I blocked it out. Well, thanks to Buzzfeed for bringing it into my life (or back into my life). The Flo sounds like some kind of menstrual product that’s in direct competition with the Diva Cup, but it was a spiritual and graceful exercise thing from the 90s. It was so much more than just a bag with water in it. It never really became the international hit it should’ve become, because the world just wasn’t ready for something that was that deep and that magical. I mean, my chi got a boner just from reading description written by the person who uploaded The Flo infomercial to YouTube:

The Flo was an amazing, almost magical water-filled plastic bag that helped people of all ages transform themselves into lean, fit pillars of athleticism and reach a state of Zen-like peace and enlightenment within. The Flo had the power to turn chunky, bearded loners in empty gymnasiums into magnificent, graceful gazelles, with a mellifluous choreography that was borne of primal, cosmic origins.

The Flo is not merely a piece of exercise equipment. It is your guide through this mystical adventure we call “life.”

And experience the infomercial for yourself. So ethereal, so artistic, so zen… If you looked at one of Yanni’s sperm fishes under a microscope, this is what you’d see:

Sure, swinging that thing around is dangerous and could give a bitch a concussion, but that’s part of the spiritual journey. Doesn’t it inspire you to swing around a bag of water? And if you don’t have a bag of water, you can use a newborn baby in a hammock.

And the takeaway from that infomercial is the line: “You’re never gonna know how good it feels until you hold one in your hands.” We all know what he’s talking about.

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