Open Post: Hosted By Simon Cowell Getting Egged

June 8, 2013 / Posted by:

During tonight’s Britain’s Got Talent live finale, a contestant from a past season crashed the stage to throw eggs at Simon Cowell while opera-singing brothers Richard and Adam were yodeling for their lives. Just watch this bizarre smiley fuckery for yourself:

Ahahahahahahaaaaaahahaha…. The way she’s smiling is what really makes this. That’s the happiest egging I’ve ever seen. It’s like she’s a 13-year-old girl and Simon is the house of her junior high school rival.

The egg thrower was Natalie Holt, a violist a group that was on BGT last year, and she later apologized for yolk-ing up Simon Cowell’s jacket. Natalie’s group had nothing to do with it. Natalie issued this statement to The Daily Mail:

“I want to apologise to Richard and Adam for overshadowing their performance. I’ve never done anything like this before and in hindsight I have realised it was a silly thing to do.”

Natalie gave no reason for why she made it rain chicken periods on Simon. Simon was fine, he just had to take his jacket off. Uh huh….

The Britain’s Got Talent producer who was high as hell while coming up with this obvious publicity stunt should get a bonus and a year’s supply of weed, because that staged wreck was entertaining. It was so fake and soooooo weird.

They should’ve gone all the way, though. The producers should’ve given Natalie two buckets full of eggs. Imagine that shit. Natalie would’ve kept throwing eggs until Simon had to yank his blazer off and then rip his white shirt off. Buttons would fly everywhere while yolks hit Simon’s stuffed pancake titties. The camera would zoom in as yolks splashed against Simon’s furry tit pies in slow motion. It would’ve been like watching Japanese porn.

And you know PETA’s going to say some shit, because so many eggs were wasted on Simon’s ass.

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