Hot Slut Of Day!

June 7, 2013 / Posted by:

The naked, dick-wielding gargoyle statue in Paulden, AZ that some people just won’t let be great! (Side note: Now that I’ve pixelated a gargoyle’s dick, I can truly say that I’ve done everything there is to do in life.)

David Smith’s 9-foot-tall naked gargoyle statue lived in front of his house in Phoenix, AZ for years without any of his neighbors clutching their eyes and screaming for a censor box, but when he moved to Paulden, his new neighbors weren’t as open to huge gargoyle peen in his front yard. They complained and complained and complained until officials in Yavapai County told him to put that gargoyle dick away. David Smith is not going to put his gargoyle dick lawn ornament away and is challenging the order. There’s a hearing in July and if he’s told he has to put his naked gargoyle statue away, he’s going to take it all the way to the supreme court and continue to fight for his right to bear arms bare gargoyle dick. Or as one of my favorite people in the world God Warrior would say, he’s going to fight for his right to bare GORGYLE dick!

David told MyFox that it’s ART and he even quoted Thomas Jefferson when defending his statue, “Thomas Jefferson said if you’re not offended twice a day, you’re not living in a free society.” And we all know that Thomas Jefferson would’ve loved that gargoyle penis.

When I lived in NYC, my across-the-hall neighbor had a Hoppy Easter sign taped to her front door. It had a bunny on it and it was ugly. She kept it on her door for the entire time I lived in that building. Easter would come and go and it would still be there. I looked at it every day. Not once did I ever think about tearing that tacky thing off her door or crossing “Hoppy” out with a Sharpie and writing “Fuck You” under it so it read “Fuck You Easter.” I respected her right to ugly up her door with a tacky Easter Bunny. So that’s what David’s neighbors need to do. They need to respect his right to showcase gargoyle peen in front of his house. It’s art! Wouldn’t they rather see some hanging gargoyle dick than an always happy Easter Bunny?

And that creepy, wonk-eyed gargoyle isn’t even hard. I could maybe see their point if it was hard. If it was hard, all the town sluts (or me when I visit) would be sucking it off at all hours and that might be distracting, but it doesn’t have a hard-on. Not even close. Those gargoyle peen-hating neighbors just need to tell themselves that if Marc Anthony posed for Michelangelo, this is what he’d create. It’s ART!

But you still know one of those neighbors is going to Lorena Bobbitt that gargoyle. Bitches.

SHARE
Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >