Is Avril Lavigne Carrying The Future Crown Monarch of Canada?

June 7, 2013 / Posted by:

One half of Canada’s royal couple (sorry for that, Canada) left a restaurant in London last night and some think that’s a fetus dome (I’m still trying hard to not type the words “baby bump.” Shit, I just did it…) under her dress. I don’t know, if Avril Lavigne was really pregnant with Chad Kroeger’s baby, the Earth would shake and all of our ears would fall off out of fear over what kind music their spawn would make.

Sure, Avril Lavigne could be knocked up and she could give birth to an angsty, Hot Topic-wearing block of Top Ramen noodles in a few months, but that doesn’t really look like a baby globe to me. Either wind is blowing up her dress or her punk rock vagina is just hyperventilating, because it knows that it’s only a matter of time before it sees Chad Kroeger’s dick again. It’s definitely the latter. It probably does that all the time.

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