Jennifer Love Hewitt Is Knocked Up

June 4, 2013 / Posted by:

I don’t know if that Brian Hallisay dude is making a pained face, because Jennifer Love Hewitt’s vajazzle stones are so sharp that they’ve cut through her jeans and are stabbing him in the stomach or because he knows he’s in the middle of making a baby with her. Or a little of both.

Jennifer Love Hewitt’s rep tells UsWeekly that a baby is growing in her uterus and she made it with her Client List co-star (and rumored fianc√©) Brian Hallisay. UsWeekly’s source says that JLove is about three months along. These pictures of JLove and Brian shooting scenes for The Client List were taken in March, so let’s just assume that we’re watching them conceive. This is exactly how I would expect her mating ritual to look. She just throws her vagina at her boyfriend of the moment and hopes that one of his sperm fishes sticks to her ovary eggs. It worked!

JLove and Brian Hallisay started dating 15 months ago. Before Brian, JLove was engaged to Ross McCall and Jamie Kennedy (HA!).

Well, congrats to JLove for finally getting what she wanted and congrats to us all, because for the next 6 months, she’s going to go on and on about her pregnancy farts and about how she plans to bedazzle her placenta. I really can’t wait. I also can’t wait for her chichis and ass to get so huge that they cover the sun, sending us into darkness for the rest of the year. Show Kim Kardashian up, JLove!

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