The good news is that I get to write about legendary crazy trick Pia Zadora again. The bad news is that I’m not writing about how Pia Zadora got cast as Amanda Bynes in Lifetime’s biopic You’re Old And Ugly: The Amanda Bynes Saga. Golden Globe award-winning star Pia Zadora is in the news again, because she got arrested in Summerlin, NV on Saturday for allegedly choking her son out before turning the garden hose on him. Note to Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan, this is how true crazy bitches do it.
TMZ says that Pia and her 16-year-old son Jordan got into a fight of words on Friday night after he refused to go to bed. When Jordan wouldn’t go to bed, the future Mother of 2013 took a page out of Joe Jackson’s Book Of Discipline when she brought the crazy on him. While Pia and Jordan kept fighting, her stepson tried to calm her down and she responded by punching and scratching his face. After an hour or two of fighting, Jordan finally decided that enough was enough and he tried to call the police. Jordan claims that as he was calling for help, Pia tried to get the phone out of his hands by choking his neck. When Jordan and his stepbrother went outside to get away from Pia, she sprayed them with the garden hose to get them back inside.
When the police showed up, Pia, Jordan, her stepson and her husband refused to come out of the house to talk to them. So the SWAT Team was called in and they formed a perimeter around the house. Pia eventually came out and admitted that she scratched and choked her son and stepson, but said that she did it by accident. 61-year-old Pia was taken to the Clark County Detention Center and charged with domestic battery and coercion (COERCION!). Before she paid the $4,000 bail and was released, they took that mug shot of her looking like a Tracey Gold Cabbage Patch Doll that got mangled in a washing machine.
And before Pia left the detention center, she taught aerobics to some of the inmates:
This whole story is a wreck. They brought in the SWAT Team for Pia Zadora? Where was the SWAT Team when Pia and her sugar daddy husband tore down the Pickford Mansion, because she thought there were ghosts living inside? Where was the SWAT Team when Pia got G.L.O.W. canceled, because she thought her then husband, who bankrolled the show, was screwing some of the wrestlers?
No, they were right for calling the SWAT Team. We all know how dangerous Pizza Whora is. I mean, we’ve all the seen the musical documentary about her days as the head hag of a terrifying gang of gays:
I’m actually surprised that Pia choked her son out when she could’ve easily subdued him with her jazz hands.